25th April, 2013

This would be my last grieving post about my child. No matter how hard it was to let him go, life still moves on.

It’s time to move forward and work harder for him. It was never easy to overcome. Every time I think of things that I’m gonna miss when he’s growing up, it feels like getting stabbed in the chest. Every time I think of his future friends might ask him about his father, it feels sour inside me.

It’s really time to move on. You do have a father child, it’s just I can’t be there for you. I know how hard it’s gonna be. But you’ll grow up strong and you’ll grow up fine. Some day, I’ll be coming to get you back. Just so you know, if you ever felt lost, my heart is always there with you.

I love you, son. My love will get you home, my love will get you home…

∞

It’s been a long 10 days. I tried my very best to keep quiet about the issue. I knew the more I say or comment, it will only make either side of us more uglier than it already is.

This whole thing has been a JOKE. Now I’m being labelled as a monster over things I did and never did. Bunch and bunch of stories are being made to beautify oneself and to attack the other. I never knew a person could go this far just to make themselves feel comfortable and “un-wrong”.

Neither did I know, the family I’ve been living with for twenty over years would decide to listen to only one side of the story to judge me. Well, it could just be my fault that I have never done one thing my parents were ever happy about.

But all these ten days, I’ve been keeping quiet and defend nothing about myself. Can’t they see that, one side is being beautified like an innocent angel? Is it a little too perfect from the words they hear? If it was this real, why only now she mentioned like she’s the victim?

I’m not denying myself over the mistakes and errors I have made. I just never did explain because everyone was so quick to judge without even asking. I can hardly breathe in my own home these days. If only I knew this was a mistake from the beginning…

清者自清，再多的美化也不会掩盖事实。 ∞

AppFog login has either went down or it was stopped intentionally, nobody know. There has not been on statement or update regarding to this matter as of now.

And the great part, was that I’m just adding some finishing up touch on one of my project. So exactly 4pm sharp, I can no longer login to push my changes to the cloud. Had to stop work at early hour again, sat there and gave myself some thoughts.

It’s sad to see a service I once decided to rely on went the opposite way. Oh well. ∞

It’s not that I’m being ungrateful about their free service or what. AppFog was first started as PHPfog, the service that was once gaining huge publicity. They are also known for their simple cloud hosting service. Their motto was “Work on code, not management”.

Ever since the start of PHPfog, I have been a loyal fan. I started as a beta user which soon moved to a paid customer. In between, I’ve met countless issues with their services. But of course, they were all resolved quickly with the help of the friendly efficient customer supports.

Then come the time, they are taking PHPfog down when they launched AppFog. I have also happily moved to AppFog for their very powerful CLI and promised lifetime free resources of 2GB RAM, 100MB data storage, 8 service instances and unlimited custom domains (in simple word, its way better than Heroku).

Until recent months, things have changed drastically. The last updated statuses on @appfogstatus and @appfoghelp was dated 12th March 2013. That was roughly less than a month ago. There were several services issues, along with many service changes.

They started implementing 50 bucks/month package for those fog-users who needed more resources (i.e. database storage). Then they started removing custom domain support and added in 20 bucks/month package for that, which according to them was the best solution they can think of to stop abuses. I totally get it, things get tiring when you have to keep on fixing issues and abuses of users, specially when you offer them for free.

But what about those users who are just testing out the service, building things on AppFog and only planning on to decide buying a package when their apps actually starts monetizing? Those who trusted on your words of “Life time free services”, “work on code, not management” ?

Now you’re either have to pay 20 bucks a month for the app you’ve built halfway just to get the domain, or move to an alternative. I know I’m willing to pay for those apps that are already up and running/making money. But what if the service keeps getting issues, or going down? Is AppFog really ready for production?

This is just a stupid long ass ranting post. But then, you get the point? It’s sad to see such great idea/platform is going down the road when developers like us has put high hopes on relying on it.

P/S: I’m actually fine with paying the 20 or 50 bucks package for my clients even though I’m unhappy with the concept of AppFog turning against their own words. But with services that are frequently going up and down, I’m not exactly sure if we should even continue developing on this platform anymore. Or is this the actual plan? To get rid of free users and make everyone go for the enterprise cloud? I don’t know.

I’ve missed the registration for voting as I have no idea we cannot actually register for our rights to vote in Singapore. But to me, it’s never too late. Like everyone else was saying, the current government has been given a chance of 55 years and they have done nothing good for us Malaysian. If they can be given a chance of 55 years, why not give a chance to the opposition and see what can they do better? If they are worst than BN, we can change again on the next General Election. i.e. GE14? GE15?

By then, I’ll be sure to register myself as a voter. And hopefully on the GE 14th, I’ll be there to vote for the opposition to continue as our government. Currently, there are too much disappointments by the government. Everyone that I knew wants a change to our country. (I’m a big fan of LGE)

If you’re better, you should have shown it in the past 55 years. Why only do that during the nearing of elections?

P/S: I have been working on day and night. Then play a little 4pics 1word lately. Now I’m stuck again! ∞

Went to office for the whole day. It somehow felt like I’m finally back to where I was, except in a much harder sense. Not really a productive day for me. Was almost falling asleep at work all the time, until I couldn’t take it anymore and took a nap on the table.

Gotta sleep earlier tonight and wake up early tomorrow. Work harder tomorrow, for things I haven’t done right today, and move on. Missing my little prince like every second.

P/S: That’s how you sit like a boss! ∞

It has been a very busy Monday. After the long weekends, most people still seems to be away from office. Me, on the other hand, is getting ready to launch another project about this week.

Google has also finally launch their Google Nose in beta. Go check it out if you like.

Other than being busy as usual, today also happen to be one of the annoying days of mine. The usual stuffs every year. Many web publishers are overdoing their April Fool Jokes. It just go on and on without realising when you overdo it, it’s no longer funny.

I wonder why though, being such a creative company, Apple has never actually do anything on April Fool day.

Have you fooled anyone today?

P/S: Kenzi sleeping in his stroller, taken a while back then. ∞

It’s nothing more painful than signing a death sentence for your own child. Now I’m forced to do just that. No matter how much drama people are doing, it’s not always they are worth your sympathy, though not everyone see it that way.

It’s sometime really losing the hope to ever think about the future again. But man, we just gotta move on no matter how far you’ve been pushed. Losing yourself in the crossroad is ok, everybody had that at least once. Just never let yourself go lost because of things or person, that were never worth your time.

I have been watching dramas in my own family in the past few days. Seeing how things went the opposite despite all the time, efforts and money I’ve spent to get them here. So other people are not human, only they themselves are important. What makes these people decide the future of my child?

P/S: The only Kenzi’s toy that I have kept for myself. I’ll move on and treat myself better than before. But it never mean I will ever give up my child. Happy Easter Day, Kenzi. ∞

It has been a really tiring Saturday. Public holiday, weekends or weekdays doesn’t matter to me anymore. The life has just been fully ruined up and down. I have been quite productive today though! Spent almost 14 hours on my work, like non-stop. Hoping to see the end result soon.

And of course, as usual of my everyday. I been missing Kenzi like crazy. I have kept a toy of his to myself that whenever the heart felt sour, I would stare at it. Then it’d bring me to my day-dreaming. It’s way to go, now I’m gonna get back to work to get him back.

P/S: That’s Kenzi at Old Town – Big Splash ∞